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If you don’t have at least 15 minutes to waste, don’t click on this link:

SSI Shredding Demonstrations

I can’t pick just one favorite (they are all so amazing), but I heartily enjoy “Computers”, “Copper Fittings”, “Refrigerator”, and “Steel Drums”. Also, the Quad Shredders are hands-down the most awesome of the various SSI product lines. What more needs to be said: “Low-speed, high-torque, four-shaft shredders.” Outstanding…

My dad showed me a fabulous video featuring Patches the Horse (click “more…” to see it). Although Patches is quite a talented horse, the “Equine Entrepreneurs” who take care of him (brothers Herbert and Robert Thompson) are hilarious. These guys remind me of Garth and Hub from Secondhand Lions (great movie, by the way). Some notable quotes:

Robert: He’s watching the scenery go by…
Herbert: He’s definitely a… you know… he’s definitely… expression, you know.
Robert: …watching the scenery.

Herbert: He has ate as high as 5 cheeseburgers.

Herbert: He answers the phone, but he doesn’t actually talk. You can put the phone up to his mouth and he moves his lips.

Oh, never mind; Patches will fetch beer. Patches rules!
(more…)

Ever wondered what might happen if you filled a Super Soaker XP270 (”a very good light assault rifle”) with something flammable instead of water? Well, ponder no more; watch the Super Soaker Flamethrower in action. Simply outstanding…

While we’re on the topic, George Carlin has some words on the origin of flamethrowers:

The very existence of flamethrowers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, “You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I’m just not close enough to get the job done.”

A friend pointed me to the DVD Rewinder. This product is a definite must-have for the tech savvy:

Too many DVDs, and CDs and not enough time to rewind? Are your DVDs running a bit too slow? The DVD rewinder is the perfect solution! This novelty rewinder comes with the exclusive Centriptal Velocity Spindle providing the world’s fastest DVD rewind!

Anything with a “Centriptal Velocity Spindle” has to be amazing. Oh, and “Centriptal” must be way cooler than centripetal.

It also features a disc cleaner.

Anheuser-Busch is introducing a caffeinated beer. The new “beer” will be called B(E), or “B to the E power” (see image at right). While caffeinated beer has been tried before, this is the first time it will be mass-marketed. Apparently the market is “21- to 27-year-old drinkers who seek novel beverages and switch drinks more frequently according to mood and occasion.” A description of the high-carb drink:

B(E) infuses beer with caffeine, guarana and ginseng, along with berry aromas for a sweeter, yet more tart taste at 6.6 percent alcohol by volume, said company brewmaster Nathaniel Davis.

In case you’re wondering what real beer drinkers think of this, I invite you to consult the German Beer Purity Law of 1516:

“Furthermore, we wish to emphasize that in future in all cities, markets and in the country, the only ingredients used for the brewing of beer must be Barley, Hops and Water. Whosoever knowingly disregards or transgresses upon this ordinance, shall be punished by the Court authorities’ confiscating such barrels of beer, without fail.”

Somewhere in Seattle a lone medical student (from St. Louis, no less) cries out in triumph…

“I don’t know what it is,” came a man’s voice in the darkness.
“Oh! That’s not good,” his lady friend responded.

New ground is being broken in the field of absurdist food service. Paris has become home to, “Dans le Noir,” a new blind-themed restaurant. Diners must learn to eat in pitch darkness in order to appreciate the experience of a blind patron, as well as to heighten their own senses (listen to the excellent report).
My first thought: Is the menu lighted?
My second thought: How sharp are the knives?
My third thought: I don’t want to eat it.
My fourth thought: I want to eat it.
The restaurant also features a “mystery menu” which could prove very exciting.

For those who are unfamiliar with my own restaurant concept, it is called “Food and Drink.” The menu consists of two items, “food” and “drink,” each at a fixed price. Dishes are served in a random manner or at chef’s discretion. For instance, if you order “food,” you may receive roast duck with pomegranate glaze, wild rice with herbs, and a field salad with pear, walnut, and gorgonzola, or you may receive tater tots. I have toyed with serving meals in some sort of “feedbag” or other disguised presentation, but I had not yet considered such a sensory-deprived dining setting. Perhaps more details will follow on this topic.
Note: due to popular demand/public outcry, sauces, seasonings, and condiments will no longer be included as “food.” Exceptions may be made at chef’s discretion.

Now that he has a gold medal, it appears that Shawn Crawford is itching to prove himself against the only foe he’s never beaten: the Zebra. My money is still on the Zebra…

Darth Vader? Check out this fabulous little short with an equally amazing tagline:

At long last, we know the answer: James Earl Jones is the real Slim Shady.

Based on the reviews, people either love it or hate it. While I agree there’s not much to the video, the concept is hilarious. For an added bonus, I did some toogling: vader and darth vader.

soup or crime?

Was passed this oustanding link by a friend:

Bear guzzles 36 beers, passes out at campground

Not only did this black bear have a high tolerance, he also had refined taste:

He tried a mass-market Busch beer, but switched to Rainier Beer, a local ale, and stuck with it for his drinking binge.

Thankfully, the bear/beer menace has been taken care of and campers are once again free to get drunk in peace:

Wildlife agents chased the bear away, but it returned the next day… They set a trap using as bait some doughnuts, honey and two cans of Rainier Beer. It worked, and the bear was captured for relocation.

Let’s all be thankful the girl bears stayed away; I wouldn’t want to clean up after that…